Home / Articles / From The Desk Of Kosher Hostess / Dumb Food Injuries

Kosher Hostess

Dumb Food Injuries

Sure, lots of people view pizza as a hazardous food. I’ve had the roof of my mouth scalded more than once by a too-hot slice, and I’ve learned to slow down and blow and not take such big bites. And yet, at the age of 34, I managed to endure a whole new kind of dumb food injury…

Honestly, it didn’t seem that hot. And I moved with caution, and took only the smallest bite, and my mouth was absolutely fine. My chest, on the other hand, was suddenly screaming in pain. As I searched for the source of my misery, I discovered a tiny drop of tomato sauce that had settled itself just above my cleavage.

I wiped it off immediately, but the damage was done. I actually burned my chest with a slice of pizza. The burn was small but determined. It became red and then raw and I couldn’t put a band-aid over it because that would look even dumber than my little angry wound. It healed after a couple of weeks, but I learned the lesson God obviously intended to teach me: Never wear low-cut shirts when you order pizza.

Comments

Food as a weapon for good!

To throw in another two cents, let’s not forget that food can be used to promote good and prevent evil. Let’s say, for instance, you find yourself at a meal and you’re really tempted to make a snarky comment about someone’s ex and instead you decide to shove some salad in your mouth, thereby preventing the lashon hara from escaping. Benefits: (1) less L”H in the world = bonus points for our Jewish brethren & sistren; (2) you save yourself the embarrassment of re-explaining your insult as a compliment when your friend gets back together with her ex; (3) you create an opportunity to share the love by complimenting the chef on an excellent salad. Win-win-win!

Food is not evil!

I just would like to argue the point that food is neither good nor evil (actually, maybe by the very virtue of the fact that we need it to survive, the argument CAN be made that it is good...but I digress) - it's what people do with it. Sure, pizza is a dangerous weapon in the wrong hands, but with careful precaution it can easily be transformed from an über-burning weapon to a thing of delight and sustenance! Just make sure to eat over a plate especially when one's about to speak some L"H! ;-)

Shana Tova to all!

Food and the Yetzer Hara

Let's face it, Food has an evil side (shocker!) I can't count the number of times I've stained my clothing, burned myself (once burned my leg with sauce from a slice of pizza), and made a mess with food - and it always seems to happen when I'm thinking or about to say something bad!

Log in or create a user account to comment.